what onces was.

         A long day visiting friends, catching up on gossip and reconnecting with old friends. it was a great day and for that whole afternoon she forget that her heart was torn. for that afternoon she felt that she was back in the olden days with her childhood friends and for that afternoon it seemed time had not change them at all.

       it amazes her how much these now women still had the childlike qualities that she knew when they were in boarding school in Oxford -konongo. and the meer  thought of it made her laugh for she knew all the rebellious things they did while they were in school. the laugh surprised her for she had not laughed in a while and was quite shocked that she could, but remembered that the time that was happy was when she was in that school.

      As she was lost in her own world of reminiscing,she was suddenly brought back to reality when her friend Priscilla threw a piece of chips at her. hello fremah are you with us ?Priscilla asked, suddenly alert from her day dreaming she came to oh I’m sorry, i was thinking of the good old days at Oxford and how much fun we had. you were the one that was having fun with all your promouscurites and arguing with teachers we just tag along for the ride said Elizabeth. oh i see so it was it was me who suggested we jump over the wall and bribe the gate man ….. (who ended up taking our money and still reporting us to the head master) they all said at once laughing. remembering this and reminiscing with her friends made her happy, a feeling she had not had the pleasure of feeling for a very long time.

 you see,  our heroine name Melrose, have had the pleasure of seeing what choosing ones career over ones heart can do a person,  she left the only she had ever loved and pursued her dreams of becoming a litigator for the United Nations. she had a choice when she was choosing colleges and she choose one that was faraway from the one that she loved and never look back, in fact was pretty happy with the way her life turn out, sure she was not in the U.N  but she graduated top of her class at Princeton law and was nor working for an international fortune 500 company as their litigator and she got to travel which was a plus for her because she always wanted to see the world. she made an impressive income, in short she had everything that young women at her age should have. she was on top of the world and she had an understanding, smart, well read, good-looking and rich boyfriend,everything in her world was fine and she was loving it.

 she was in bed once when she heard her phone ring, she answered it only to find out that her favorite nieces is getting married and since she had promise that she would be at the wedding  when the day came .she had no choice but to get her appointments in order because the wedding was a month aways and she had promise to be there to help with the planing and everything.

    she left a week after call to board a plane that was destined to Accra the capital of Ghana, were she had spent her childhood. she had never been back since she left when she was fourteen. and now she was going to this land and to the little town of konongo where she had once loved and now the thought of it brought back memories of  her past love  and she immediately shock the thought out of her head and reminded her self  of the amazing boyfriend she has and how this visit is for her niece and not her.

      the plane arrive late around ten thirty at night and she was greeted by her eldest sister and the soon to be bride herself who was in th capital doing the final fitting for her wedding dress. it amazed her how little she had know about her own country,  the metropolis of Accra was booming with night life, with teens and young adults walking around some coming and others going from one night club to another. the cars honking and the night vendors felling the atmosphere with the aroma of various smell of both local and foreign cuisines. the night lights made the city look more exotic and the languages that was being spoken around her made her truly felt at home. why have i not come home she thought to her self.  from the capital to her hometown, during the car ride her niece showed her the ring  and she told her how beautiful it was, it was a lovely ring she thought to herself nice, elegant just like you she told her niece and told her how happy she was for her.  it was late when they got home and she went straight to bed, the next day she decided to get go for a jog and see the old neighbourhood and with any luck maybe she might see one of her childhood friends. it was during this jog that she met one of her school mates called allen.  at first  she didn’t recognize her but Ellen did. Ellen came straight at her with a hug and identifying herself. i;m Ellen aboagy, i was in Oxford with you a long time ago remember. i was the girl who was in the debating class with you. she remembered her then and they started talking, she was a bit of a gossip person, Ellen told her of what have become of her former classmates and where they were now. some had moved out of the country, town but most of them had stayed in town. it was then that Ellen told her a piece of information she wished she had not heard, Ellen told her that her once sweetheart, the one that she loved with all her might once just got married not long ago and that coming sunday he will be coming town to visit his mother.

it was not like his name had never crossed her mind and sometimes she thought of him but only as a possibility  a far awa y memory of a childs feeling.  but she  did not understand why she felt the way she did, why it felt as if the wind had stop blowing, and her heart had been started and she could not move nor could she stop thinking of the last word that he said to her nor could she forget his face the sweet face that she had learned a long time to hide deep inside her. now it seemed that the walls that she had build to keep him out was broken, and all the emotions that she had hidden for so long just flushed into her in massive waves and she could not control it  so she thank Ellen and ran home. only in the comfort of her bedroom did she burst out crying………… to be continue.

My summer adventure.

Ahhhhhhh, a breath of fresh air. I now i t has been forever since i wrote to you guys, but in my defense i was busy over this summer enjoying life. The life that i had never had before. hmmmm so many great things happened that i don’t even know where to start. so in the words of my favorite writer Jane Austine” the secret to a grate novel is to begin and end where it begun and ended”. So that is what I’m going to do.last semester was great and although at the end we all was done with plattsburgh we wanted to make something in remembrance of our first semester in the school so we made the wacky party. this party was good, in fact it was so good that the police had to shut us down and we were fines $ 300, but it was worth it because that party is still talked about.

Then my summer begun, the Bronx. you know you can never say just Bronx because it never sound good so always the Bronx. i went all happy, i mean after the terrible ordeal that i had with my ex i was really expecting to just hang and chill with close friends and family but oh no that is not what i was welcomed to. first of all my best friend who was my everything turned out to be pregnant  and delivered a week before my arrival, and she never even bothered to tell me. secondly due to my huge amount that i owed on my phone bill i lot the privilege to have a phone this whole summer.  Which i think was horrible but it was a punishment that i truly believed that i deserved. Thirdly, i was stuck at the store which was boring, but it also allowed me  to meet interesting people and hear stories that was very fascinating.you know old people like to talk and they always came with new stories, i will write that later.

Between my boring life, i also got to meet this guy called Daniel, well he was my ex’s college roommate at the university of Ghana but he got a scholarship and came during the summer to hang in the city before school starts. i meet him and his when they came to the store( my mom owns an African market) his uncle was a friend of my parents so i knew him a little. His uncle was from the same place that i grew up in, he even went to  middle school with my mom so when his nephew came in he brought him to the store to great my  mom and that was when i found out that he went to legon and through conversation did i found out that he and my ex were roommates. i guess you can say we bonded over that. me told me things that has been going on back home and he introduce me to his friends who have also come from legon. he advice me and really painted a different picture of my ex for me to see.we chilled i even threw a welcome party for him and his friend at my moms shop’s basement.

By the time end of July i was so wrapped up with my new found friends that i felt like i was on cloud nine. my father has got transferred to a different city which is not too far from my school but really far from new york city. so i spend most on July and early august helping him with the new house. my cousin who just finished law got married on the tenth of augest so  both me and my parents went to London for the festivities . i normally don’t like weddings but her’s was wonderful it looked like she actually and truly love him and him her. i guess they are the only people in this world that i would deem are close to a fairytale romance. they said their own vows and dance their fast song to P square “NO One Like You” which i thought was the perfect song because it describe them so perfectly.

And then came the 20th of august where i had to pack and get on a train bound to plattsburgh. as much as i loved school i really didn’t want to go because i was having so much fun but i had gotten my new apartment i need to come up early to collect the key since the landlord was going on a cruise. so in all that is basically what i did in the summer. i had the most wonderful experience and i got to do this with wonderful people.

why?

Question: Why is it that the ones that we give our love to unconditionally, doesn’t always return the favor? Yes that is my question for today. You may be wondering why, this question. Well, I just want it answered. I feel like this question has been bordering many people throughout the time but no one seems to ask why, so I have decided to put it out there.
Take a look through history, novels and movies. It all seems to end with this question. “Why didn’t he/she love me”? It seems that every one loves someone else. And statistics speaking 70% of couple are in love with someone else and will leave their spouses if the opportunity presents its self. Yes it is pretty horrific to release that your spouse sometimes wishes that they ere with some one else, but then again that is the very nature of humans. We kill, destroy, and do what ever it takes to get ahead (humans are the most self destructive creatures in the universe).
I have this dilemma, which is making me think more and more these days because I hate thinking, (Too much thinking gives you wrinkles and makes you appear old) about these two guys in my life. Yes I’m nineteen and so my thought are consume by boys, its curse which I’m working on.
One of the guys, I love unconditionally, and would sacrifice a lot for him with no question asked. I loved and still do to a point that if he had asked me to jump of the san Francisco bridge I would have asked how high and jumped, gladly too, with a very big smile on my face. He has a very nice rap sheet on him; he comes from a very rich and respected family which will make any parent proud that their daughter is joined in the family. He is studying to be a doctor which if you are from Ghana it is a very big deal because it is only the cream de le cream that are allowed to do that.
I have known him since I was nine and been with him since I was twelfth and have known no other guy (Man) apart from him (well until June of last year). He is cold and distance, he shows emotion sometimes but when he does shows it he could make me melt to the ground. He is arrogant and therefore treats other people like servants. And last but not lest he is handsome and knows his way to a lady’s heart and with this he does not stop at one but has had numerous affairs with countless of other ladies while he was still with me. And although I love him with all my heart, he I think doesn’t feel the same way for me. He uses me like a pawn in his game, you see my dear readers with me by his side he creates an illusion for his parents to see that he is taking life seriously and that he is the very good boy that his parents think he is.
Now to my other Guy, I like him but not in love with him. He is smart, funny and intelligent. He is 24 years old and is finishing his master’s degree as I write this. He has his own job, house and two cars and is cute and claims he is ready to fly me to the moon if only I ask him to. He is ready to come to my house to tell my parents about his intention with me and is willing to take whatever my parents say. He is God fearing and goes to church every Sunday (which he tries to convince me to come with) and has won over by both my brothers and my friends. He is loved by all the people around me and yet I can’t seem to love like the others.
So I’m throwing it out there, why is it that the ones that we love doesn’t love us back but the ones that we don’t love always are ready to love us flaws and all.

Dilemma

Question, Can someone, lets say a friend, be trusted with a secret that when unleashed could destroy you? Why and why not? A logical person can argue in both ways one being you trust to but your faith in them and the other being it’s a person therefore it is guaranteed that you will be betrayed in the end.
Secrets, it is defined as something kept from knowledge or view. Some secrets can are harmless it only inflect a temporary pain on the person but other when ousted can kill a person in not literally than metaphorically. Humans are know through out ages for keeping secrets, some are romantic ones which when we read today we wish were them. I know that I am one of those anglophile’s who wished that they lived in the Elizabethan or Gorgerin or even the Tudor era because the romance novels make that world sound so fascinating.
We are all fascinated by forbidding love that is why it is a best selling book and movie. Because by us watching as they struggle to turn the world around them to believe in their love we have a sense to believe that we can also find someone who is truly unique that ill fight for the right to love us right? Or I’m way of base here?
So anyways, before I get of topic, back to my main topic. Ah yes secrets, when we tell our secrets to our friends, significant others, our priest or whom ever we feel the we could trust are they safe with them? Just like when I asked this question what happened to the love after the relationship is over? So I ask this question what happens to the unique secrets that were entrusted on to us by the ones we once love, do we keep them. Or is simply fair game and if so, what are the rules of the game?
We hold tons of information’s in our heads don’t you think that is fair game for us to release some of the intense info’s that are no longer required of us to keep. I like to think of it as this, all sense of responsibility goes out of the window the relation is terminated. And keeping secrets that have or no value to you should not be your concern anymore right? But then again one might argue that no matter what transpired between the two parties that information was shared with the common understanding that it will be kept in the confidence.
I guess what am trying to ask is should we tell the secrets of those whom we are no longer in good terms with?

BACK AT HOME AND WITH IT COMES THE DRAMA FROM ABROAD.

yah!!!! i have officially finished my first year in college. Which to some folks it may not seem like much but to me it is mile stone in my life. i mean come on after all the things that i have been through this year, man, i think i deserve a part on the back or at lest a piece of cake ( if i ate one) for sticking it out.

school was not hard i took the basic class, but my personal life seemed out of controlled the moment i went to school. First the person that i loved the in the whole entire world just out of the blue (well i not completely because he was a Dog) cheated on me. then i spend hours on my phone calling direct to Ghana arguing with this same person for three hours which coasted me A thousand and three hundred dollars. Shock if not that was what i was when i received the bill. I literally fainted, and hyperventilated for hours. hmm typical me even when i lose the gut i still get stuck with the bill, sometimes you just have to laugh at your self because it is the only way for you to stay sane.

so anyway  apart from being cheated on, this guy had the nerves to lie to my face even though had photographic proof he still tried to argue that it was not him making out in the street with some girl in in front of the Legon library, the same library that he told me that he had to study at three o’clock in the morning. i guess i now know what he was studying the girls anatomy after all he is a medical student.

after i was having my melt down he was busy making a name for himself as the biggest man on campus, moving from one loose girl to another. And then when his parents found out what had happened and treated to pull his resources he decided to claw back and oh you are going to love the send a video tape confession to me trying to explain what he did and hwy he needed me in his life. i had to give it to him, he was bold and honest., he told the truth and the truth was what i expected from him and to tell the truth it weren’t simple, we had gone to a point where we didn’t love each other a but we felt that we need to because that was what was expected from us. And it was the truth, because our love was not growing only decreasing, our interests was not common anymore and had to sit and talk i think we would be bored to death with each other.

Yes he was a dog but i think i should  not blame him. he only did what was inevitable to come anyways. i said once and i will say it again No one will ever fine their true love at the age of 12. But through his love and friendship i  have learned the greatest lesson that not even the greatest teachers in the finest university in world could teach me, and that is ” just because we get comfortable with something  that does not mean that that is all the we have to settle with”

College life and what relationship fit into it.

The typical American Teenager enters college at the peek of their 18Th year. Some are sheltered  by their parents so don’t really knows how to live on their own, it is not like in most European or African societies where  when you turn 15 you are sent to a boarding school. No Americans teens grows up in the comfort of their own homes. Some get into relationships and others don’t, since High school is like a cast system where the smartest kids are the bottom feeders and the athletics and pretty dam people rule the school must kids don’t experience all that they can to grow up before they graduate from High school like most people around the world do.

Most American teens sees college as the ultimate freedom. no parents to tell you what to do.  it is estimated that almost 69% of all college freshmen fail their first year in college and 20% die every year due to drug or alcohol consumption. now theses fact are horrible to look  and for someone who is not in this situation it may seem horrid to you but to me i see it as everyday event. see in America the drinking age is 21 and snice most college students are underage they legaly can’t buy alcohol but then agian what is it to be a tten if you can;t do what it is said to be bad.

Every Friday night there is a party in a collage house, frat or sorority house or a down the low dorm. and in this place you can see every drink made to man and with it comes Ecstasy(a drug that made you hyper), the all favorite weed, cocaine and sometimes heroin. in a typical party they play drinking games,sex games and all sort of games that will only make parents feel disgusted.

So with all this constant partying it is hard to say that you are in a relationship because everyone wants freedom. so they came up with a word called (Friends with benefits)  it is understandable that Every-teen gets horny and sometimes need satisfaction so when ever you think a guy is cute and he also finds you cute you both could have sex  but with no strings attach which means just because you guys have sex does not mean you are in a relationship and therefore each is allowed to sleep with whom ever they want and the other can’t say anything about it.

NOW this arrangement is good, but girls have different emotions than guys, guys could go on with no emotional attachment but girls, well we can’t. and that is what is causing problems with my group of friends. they have been friends with benefits for a while and now are fighting over the same guy because they want to keep him for their selves.

i understand that college is a good place to experience  new things but i ask this question since when is selling your soul for emotional ruin a apart of social development.

my mom

Everyone knows that without my mom i will not be who I’m today. she has made so much sacrifices for me that words can not even describe it. my mom is the head pillar in my life and although we fight like crazy i know that without her i will have no reason to go on. i guess what I’m trying to say is that thank you mom, for all that you have done for me and will continue to do for me. i read somewhere that a mother hold her child’s hand for a while and let go but hold their hearts even they are dead and gone. mom i wan t yo to know that i love you from the bottom of my heart thank you so much for being that special woman in my life.